Friday, December 18, 2009

Changes. Changes-Part 1

On and off for the last few days I have been working at once in a while stuff--overhauling my privacy settings and the things I share on the net--and at getting involved in at least one new site. The one I'm trying is Classmates.com to see what will happen. My high school years weren't filled with friends, but I really remember a few of my classmates and I thought I would try to get in contact. I take the no-pay route, which is a little harder, but I am interested to see what if anything comes from it.


This past year has been really different. I have been working on getting rid of some attitudes that could only hold me back from a good future. That has been interesting, and I'm still working on it, but I can see some changes even now in my life. Going on Classmates is one change. I used to believe I didn't deserve much good. That thought is changing slowly. (It isn't a matter of what I deserve, but of what Jesus wants for me.) I have been a Christian for many years, but I am now learning more about God's love for me--that He loved me even before He created me and that His love for me could never stop. (I knew this intellectually, but now I'm experiencing it more.) I'm learning more about His forgiveness. (He provided complete forgiveness for everything in my past, present and future because He knows every sin I will commit, not only the ones I've already done; He died for every one of them.) It is helping me forgive others more and be willing to try new things. I'm learning how to walk with Him with less and less of a mask. (Since He really knows all my thoughts and feelings as well as my actions, why should I hide them? He loves me anyway, and can only change me if I'm honest.) 



All of these new thoughts boggle my mind, but I'm exploring them in increasing depth and watching how many areas of my life and behavior toward my Lord and others are being touched. I can't forgive well if I don't feel forgiven, and I can't love others or God Himself with unconditional agape love until I have been immersed in it myself. I need more than a head knowledge of these things, and that experiential knowledge is growing to a new level in my life.



I am looking forward, albeit a little hesitantly, to the new year and what more realization will do for my life. God bless you as this year ends and the new one begins, with your first knowing of Him or a greater depth in His love, grace and mercy.

1 comment:

Dawna said...

Hi Barb

I'm there with you on this. I'm needing those assurances as well. I'm thankful for you that these things are coming to pass in your life albeit slowly. Love you and pray for continued healing.

Love Dawna