Wasted Worship, or Wasted Worship? Part 3

In this post, I would like to discuss the other half of my title. First though, let's review the definitions of worship we have been working from:

WordReference.com Adapted from: Wordnet 2.0 Copyright 2003 by Princeton University. All rights reserved.

wor·ship Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English worshipe worthiness, respect, reverence paid to a divine being, from Old English weorthscipe worthiness, respect, from weorth worthy, worth + -scipe -ship

2 : reverence offered a divine being or supernatural power; also : an act of expressing such reverence
3 : a form of religious practice with its creed and ritual
4 : extravagant respect or admiration for or devotion to an object of esteem <worship of the dollar>

The definition of wasted is

wasted
adj 1: serving no useful purpose; having no excuse for being;
"advice is wasted words"  [syn: pointless]
2: not used to good advantage; ..."a wasted effort" --Source: WordNet (r) 1.7

This definition of wasted indicates something is useless. However, there is a slang definition of "wasted" that means drunk or intoxicated. In thinking about that, I am reminded of the Book of Acts where the Holy Spirit falls on the waiting and seeking disciples. The Bible says to onlookers they seemed (in today's language) wasted, or (by inference) totally given over in this case to the Spirit of God rather than to alcohol or drugs. What does it mean to be totally "given over" to God? What is this kind of "wasted worship?"

In parts one and two of this series, I said I believe to have true worship we must know the God we worship as He reveals Himself, not as we imagine Him or desire Him to be. I also said we must agree with His view of us, as well as what He came to do for and in us. Thirdly, I said we must allow Him to do in us those things that He desires. This will either infuse life into our definitions 2 and 3 above, or totally transform us to #4. It will move our worship from the realm of lip-service to the realm of "life-service." It will move our worship from empty and powerless to relevant and meaningful. It will please God and it will change us. That's at least part of what the Bible calls worshipping in Spirit and in truth.

Other ways of describing this kind of worship are "whole life worship," "radical or extreme Christianity," or, as I titled this series, "wasted worship." It means I give up my agenda and desires to live for one goal, and that is as the apostle Paul says in Phil 3:10 AMP "[For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection [which it exerts over believers], and that I may share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness...]."

I notice here that Paul talks about his purpose--not as a finished product, but as a goal. As the Bible says, it is a progressive thing, both my knowing God and His transforming me. God doesn't expect perfection, just a heart that is willing to enter wholly into the process. He even makes provision for the times when I have a hard time being willing--Phil 2:13 AMP says, "It is God Who is all the while effectually at work in you [energizing and creating in you the power and desire], both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight."

Paul also described the "how-to" of this process in another way that we mentioned in part 2--that of presenting ourselves to God for transformation in mind and body (Rom 12:1-2). - Isaiah, an Old Testament prophet must have done this. Below is a description of part of one "wasted worship" experience he had:

Isa 6:1, 5-8 NLT In the year King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord. He was sitting on a lofty throne, and the train of His robe filled the Temple. 5Then I said, "My destruction is sealed, for I am a sinful man and a member of a sinful race. Yet I have seen the King, the Lord Almighty!" 6Then one of the seraphim flew over to the altar, and he picked up a burning coal with a pair of tongs. 7He touched my lips with it and said, "See, this coal has touched your lips. Now your guilt is removed, and your sins are forgiven." 8Then I heard the Lord asking, "Whom should I send as a messenger to My people? Who will go for Us?" And I said, "Lord, I'll go! Send me."
--Sounds good, doesn't it? The only thing is that what the Lord tells him to do (I'm not even going to go there now) would be quite hard. It could only be accomplished with God's grace and help.

Another form of "wasted worship" is to be found in the book of Job after he's lost all his possessions, his children and his health. He didn't know why. In Job 13:15 NKJV, we see his response: "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him." That, friends, is a real, extravagant, wasted worship response. It took God's grace to help him say that and mean it. Real, honest wasted worship takes us beyond who we are, what we want in our own selves, and what we can do by ourselves. It takes us into God's territory, and we get to see what He can do in and through us.

Want another example? (They are all through the Bible--just look at anyone who ever did anything big and you will first see the wasted worship experience either implied or spelled out.) In Habakkuk 3:17-19 NLT the prophet responds to God, "Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vine, even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren, even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, 18yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation. 19The Sovereign Lord is my strength!"

The pattern I'm seeing here is that if one is really worshipping God as He intends, life will not be easy. He doesn't go easy on me because I choose to follow Him--far from it. Life will be quite challenging. But then, isn't it anyway? Life happens--what counts is my response to it and God. In relationship with Him, the things that happen will become fuel for growth instead of bitterness. If I enter into the right kind of "wasted worship," my life will not be pain-free, but it also will not be wasted in aimless wandering or futility.

Here's one (our last) example of wasted worship in the New Testament: Jn 12:1-5, 7a "Six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus was who had been dead, whom He had raised from the dead. 2There they made Him a supper, and Martha served, ... . 3Then Mary took a pound of very costly oil of spikenard (the NLT describes this gift as a 12-ounce jar of expensive perfume), anointed the feet of Jesus, and wiped His feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the oil."

Let me pause here. This was an extravagant, over-the-top gesture, wasn't it? But the more practical minded didn't like her wasted worship and even had something to say about it. Verse 4: "But one of His disciples, Judas Iscariot, ...who would betray Him, said, 5'Why was this fragrant oil not sold ...and given to the poor?' "

Pause again. Note the heart of those opposed to true wasted worship. They have another agenda - not always a deceitful one, sometimes just an unenlightened or misguided one. I am not to judge them or let them stop me. Verse 7: "But Jesus said, 'Let her alone... .' "

Morals I draw from these true stories? True wasted worship will always look "out there" to those not involved. It may and probably will seem excessive. It may seem wasteful. But done with a right heart, it will please my Father God and change me. That's what I want. How about you?

P.S. I started part one saying that worship styles are being hotly contested in the American church. As I look at our working definitions, I see nothing about music or musical styles even mentioned. Worship is from the heart and life. Music is just one way it is expressed. I need to keep that perspective as I view our worship services. I think if we enter more and more into "wasted worship" as the Body of Christ, "worship wars" in the realm of music will become less and less prevalent. The Holy Spirit can and will unite those who are "of one heart and soul" as the Book of Acts describes. -bi

Wasted Worship, or Wasted Worship? Part 2

I said in my last post that it would be a good idea to take a look at worship--what it is, and its expressions. Before I do, I want to review the dictionary definitions I am working from:

[from WordReference.com Adapted from:WordNet 2.0 Copyright 2003 by Princeton University All rights reserved.]

wor-ship
Etymology: Middle English worshipe worthiness, respect, reverence paid to a divine being, from Old English weorthscipe worthiness, respect, from weorth worthy, worth + -scipe -ship

2: reverence offered a divine being or supernatural power; also: an act of expressing such reverence
3: a form of religious practice with its creed and ritual
4: extravagant respect or admiration for or devotion to an object of esteem <worship of the dollar>

To really do #2 in my definition, my first consideration would be, what is the correct mind-and-heart-set from which all true worship that is suitable for this God flows?

To really worship, I must be on the same page with God, agreeing with Him about Who He says He is. That is the very first element of worship. To keep it from just being superficial intellectual assent, however, I must learn to know this God as Paul says in Acts 17:22-31, receive His sacrifice for me, and count His opinion about my everyday life as more important than any other, including my own. That attitude will change my whole perspective on life in general, and specifically my life, which will affect my actions and responses day by day, which will in turn affect the outcome.

If I really believe, as He says, that His ways are beyond me and my understanding, then to adopt them sincerely means first acknowledging, then laying down my ideas about everything and learning to think and feel and do as He would in any given situation. In doing this, I am actively admitting first of all that my whole life, every area, was influenced by the original fall into sin and rebellion against God. Secondly I am admitting that my whole life has also been distorted by my own personal sin. I am saying that my own mind, will and emotions, while very real, cannot follow God by themselves because I am so distorted.

On the other hand, once I've made those admissions (confessions), I am acknowledging that the picture really isn't that dark--I have hope. I am saying that my life can be different, that it can be more and more restored to the pattern that God intended and further, that this is what I want and am aiming for. Each day, moment by moment as I am giving God access to my life, I recognize that each situation that comes up is another opportunity to learn more of my God's ways and thoughts. It's another opportunity to allow Him to restore me and make me whole.

You say that way of following God (it's also called surrender or dying to self--the distorted, sinful self) sounds a little extreme? God says anything less is half-hearted, polluted worship, also called in the Bible "strange fire." In the Old Testament, the penalty for rewriting (distorting) God or His rules or principles was death (see Leviticus 9:23-10:4), sometimes physical and sometimes spiritual as with the Pharisees who chose not to repent.

In the New Testament, Jesus died in my place for my sin (He could because He was the One and Only who walked through every kind of temptation we humans have experienced and did not sin). The penalty of death has been removed if I receive what He did for me. In receiving Him and His work on my behalf, I begin to give Him access to my life. I become no longer me-born-into-sin, but me-acceptable-and-righteous because I have turned (repented) from my ways and now want His. I receive His robe of righteousness (Is 61:10), and as I walk with Him day-in and day-out, He will change me. Eventually, if He's left to work unhindered, His redemption begins to affect every part of me. This is where eternal life starts--the point at which I receive Him--not when I get to heaven; it just continues there. God says through Paul in the book of Romans that living life daily with this attitude is true worship:

Rom 12:1-2 NLT: And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice--the kind He will accept. When you think of what He has done for you, is this too much to ask? [NIV says here, "...this is your spiritual act of worship."] 2Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect His will really is.

True worship begins here, with submission, total submission in heart which will eventually show in my life. I am not a robot. God will not force this kind of life on me. It is my choice, but without it, my worship is wasted, or at best very limited. But I like to imagine what my life will look like if I continually desire to walk in this attitude. As we read above, Romans 12 says I will be transformed into a new person, I'll know what God wants me to do, and I will know how good His will really is. This is definition #4 above: extravagant respect or admiration for or devotion to an object of esteem. This is the subject of part 3--the other half of "wasted" worship.

Wasted Worship, or Wasted Worship? Part 1

Tuesday, April 25, 2006: It's finally time. I'm ready to begin talking about it. "It," the thing in dispute all over the land in one way or another, is worship. This is a very hard subject for me to nail down--the whole idea is bringing me warfare in the form of confusion, distraction, and other priorities as I try to write. In my view that's one very good reason to pursue it. It wouldn't be so difficult if there wasn't something to be gained. So here goes (the rest was finished on the date above shown for this post):

Lately I've been thinking about a post on my son's blog called Wasted Worship. (By series' end, I hope to have explained my title.) Worship takes many forms--and there is always worship of some kind expressed in our lives. I believe the desire to worship is encoded in our spiritual and emotional DNA.

Today, as in every age, the act of worship is very much a battleground in the whole church, exhibited by the just-under-the-surface battle over musical preferences and the temptation to mindlessly participate, in the ever-present attack of the enemy on worship leaders to lead worship by rote (religious form over substance which dulls the mind and never gets in contact with God), or the very real battle against pride and showmanship that attacks those who dare to lead worship. Motives are all important in either winning or losing this battle--they also determine whether our worship is given in spirit and truth, or whether we are participating in "strange fire" or "polluted" worship. That being the case, it would be a good idea to take a long look at worship, firstly what it is, and secondly its expressions.

Here is one dictionary's definition of worship: [from WordReference.com Adapted from:WordNet 2.0 Copyright 2003 by Princeton University All rights reserved.]

wor-ship
Etymology: Middle English worshipe worthiness, respect, reverence paid to a divine being, from Old English weorthscipe worthiness, respect, from weorth worthy, worth + -scipe -ship

2: reverence offered a divine being or supernatural power; also: an act of expressing such reverence
3: a form of religious practice with its creed and ritual
4: extravagant respect or admiration for or devotion to an object of esteem <worship of the dollar>

There are many today who refuse to acknowledge (definition #2) God (the divine being/supernatural power) and Jesus Christ His Son come to earth to show us God's heart and character, how to walk with Him daily (worship?), and to make a way back so we can be reinstated in right relationship with the Father. Many others sincerely believe there is a power that we can't really know, or else that He is inside all of us, and we just have to search for that part of Him in ourselves. But the real truth is spoken very well by one of the Bible writers well over 1,500 years ago to a culture not unlike our own in character. He leads into that subject this way:

Acts 17:22-23 NLT--"Men of Athens, I notice that you are very religious, (23)for as I was walking along I saw your many altars. And one of them had this inscription on it--'To an Unknown God.' You have been worshipping Him without knowing Who He is, and now I wish to tell you about Him." (If you want to know more, there's plenty in verses 24-31--for the purposes of this train of thought, however, I will assume you already know about Him, or even better, that you have a relationship with Him.)

There are other people who claim to be Christians who worship Him only with definition #3 (a form of religious practice with its creed and ritual). Yes, it's possible to worship Him that way, for in the above verses even Paul acknowledges that the Greeks were worshipping this Unknown God. The problem though is that God (see Hebrews 13:8) by definition doesn't change--E V E R. That means the only response in our relationship with Him that will transform religious acts into real live worship is for us to get to know Him well, and let His influence over us be the influence that counts in our lives.

When we don't know God Whom we say we worship, we are dishonoring instead of respecting Him by only giving Him mental assent. To the degree that we don't get to know Him deeply, we are offering God "polluted" worship. We pollute our worship with man's ideas, trying to conform our image and worship of God to our own lifestyles and beliefs. James, another Bible writer says even God's enemies, demons, recognize His reality--but that it won't get them anywhere: James 2:19-20 NLT--Do you still think it's enough just to believe that there is one God? Well, even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror! 20...When will you ever learn that faith that does not result in good deeds is useless?

Worship (even worship with feelings) can result in a God-dishonoring life--unless we allow Him to do what He came to do--change us into His character likeness day by day. Only then will our expressions of worship unite His people and accurately reflect God's worth (worthiness to be worshipped) back to Him.

A Rare Privilege

I know I was going to start some postings on worship--and they will come, Lord willing. But please excuse me, because life and opportunity and privilege interrupted.

Last Saturday (April 1) I was going to work as a "human arrow." This was an opportunity for our church to earn much needed funds, and I got the idea that it would be helpful for me to volunteer to stand in one place for about 6-8 hours (plus have break and supper) even though I haven't stood on my feet that long in years. (They are very flat, and though I am in decent shape, I'm not so sure my feet and legs would be after a stint like that... .) We were to point the way in downtown Indianapolis during the final four weekend.

But then I got an Opportunity--my son called on Thursday (end of March), asking if I'd like to go on his weekend trip with him to northwestern Tennessee. This was a heads-up to me because it was somewhat unusual. This son and I often do things together at this point in our lives, but a weekend trip? Not so much. I felt it was not just a break, but important. Most mothers of grown children will understand--when we get this kind of Opportunity it is a Privilege, and the answer is always Y E S if we possibly can. --Thank You, church, for making it possible and releasing me from my "arrow" commitment; I would have done it (cheerfully) because promise, dependability and faithfulness are priorities to me, but thanks for understanding (and God thank You for having others in the wings to step in...).

When I found out that Friday morning that I could go, I packed-in-a-hurry and went on to work. My son picked me up at the end of the day, and we were off on an adventure. Now I love traveling, and I love being with any of my three sons. This adventure was to start with a treat of spending an uninterrupted five hours in the car with him. I love doing that because we talk about all sorts of things--silly things, ideas, philosophy of life. We don't always agree, but I think for me it is getting easier to agree to disagree and let God change each of us than it used to be. I certainly get stretched from our talks and end up with a lot to think about. (Please let's not stop.)

Last weekend I got beautiful spring scenery, warm temps, and a chance to share in my son's world and broaden mine. I had never known people whose ministry revolved around an army base where they were regularly deploying soldiers. We were on the Clarksville, TN side of Ft. Campbell, KY, visiting a good friend of my son's. I also had the privilege of entering her world. It was wonderful to see her again. Last time I saw her was when she was at the edge of flying from the nest. She is now out there, Abraham-like, transplanted into a place where God sent her, and becoming a strong, beautiful, obedient, courageous woman of God. Her sharing reminded me of something very important --if I really think some prompting I have is of God, I need to feel the fear and do it anyway. The ways God has blessed her have really reminded me of the blessings of obedience.

Additionally, I got the privilege of seeing a neat Body-of-Christ-gift in operation. I saw a couple who was able to invite a group of people over for supper and the evening. What's so "gift-like" about that? Well, these guests from various walks of life were from many different places, both geographically and spiritually. But with this gift in operation, even I was comfortable enough for a change to get in there and interact with people from backgrounds extremely different from mine. This was "lifestyle evangelism" and "loving people and letting God do His thing" at its best. From what I can tell, this couple's version of this gift enables guests to feel extraordinarily at home with each other--it was a "safe" place to venture out.

I also learned during that evening to feel much less guilty about the calls in the Body for lifestyle evangelism. I think those I've heard (and rightly so) may strongly have that gift operating that way, because their description is similar. But I usually fall flat on my face trying to fit into that mold. I realized I am not a klutz, dumb, unspiritual, uncaring, unloving, or any of the other things the enemy accuses me of when I know I can't pull off an evening like that myself--it is just not the way my gift is expressed. How liberating if I will remember it! So I can continue to do it in my own way, and can from now on feel okay about it. - Wow! A chance to meet new friends and learn too--this trip was great!

We also had three time changes--TN was an hour earlier than we were, then there was their April 1st daylight savings time change, and thirdly, the new Indiana daylight savings time on our way back. I almost felt like a time-traveler by the time I was done leaping backward once, then forward twice. My son explained how easy it was for him to change time zones (even when he went overseas). I tried it and it worked till Tuesday. (My son said, "Till Tuesday? You got back to work on Monday." My comment, "See what I mean? Time-travel--delayed reaction." Actually I meant to say Monday... :) )

As if all that excitement wasn't enough, we also got back to my house ten minutes before all the serious Indiana weather that took out the windows on 12 floors of a corner of a downtown building. The storm was about 5-10 minutes behind us, sirens soon were going off all over the city, but we had a beautiful, uneventful trip back, though the storms hit down through the whole corridor of our travels. I'm grateful (very) we weren't driving during that time.

So... thank you, son, for the trip and chance to enjoy you. Thank you for letting me into your life. Thank you for all the ways on this trip that you considered me and that said you were glad I was along for the ride. It was special. Thank you all in Tennessee for letting me into your lives and homes. Your hospitality was a real blessing, and ministered to me. Thank You, Lord, for watching over us, letting me see once again Your beautiful work in someone who allows You to grow her, the chance to see You in operation in a situation from today's headlines (people involved in the war on terror), and the opportunity to see how Your gifts spread Your influence, life, and hope so graciously in this world through another neat committed Christian couple. Thank you all for the gift of this adventure.

Spring Snow Part 2

Yup, I woke up twice during the night. Decided to make things easy--left my living room blinds open so I didn't have to go over to the window and peek out to see what was going on. I finally got up at 4 (yes, that's a.m.--don't worry, I didn't realize there was life before 7am a few years ago, either) and watched our local weather and morning show (which decided to come on a half hour early--at 4 because of the storm) while I was doing my exercise routine. There was N O T H I N G going on outside--but that's happened other times, and since this wasn't the first snow of the year, it was ok. But to our south and north it started snowing like crazy around 4:30. By 5:15 it was just beginning here. (Glad I was expending energy during this time or I'd have been really antsy.)

While I was watching, and since I was up, I decided I'd better head to work early. I usually start walking in about 8:45am, but thought the way things were going that I'd be better off to leave at 6:15. It was a beautiful-cold-snowy-blowy-night walk, with the promise of morning and spring very close, so I look at it (and the whole day, really) as my goodby to winter proper. When I got to work, I grabbed the shovel and broom, as I still wasn't sure if the snowplow was coming (it didn't), and I wanted our clients to be able to get in without falling. (We have elderly clients, some of whom consider this kind of weather a challenge, and others who wouldn't come out on a day like today if you paid them.) The shoveling reminded me again of Buffalo (NY); I remember coming home from school and my sister and I being put to work shoveling a foot (no exaggeration) of snow out of the driveway--it never got finished, but sure kept us out of mischief--sort of like moving a pile of dirt from one place to another.

One thing definitely not like Buffalo--seeing the whole Morning Show devoted to nothing but the weather locally. If Buffalo did that, there would never be anything else talked about all winter. I remember once calling my aunt and uncle when they had just had 30 inches of snow, and asked how they liked being snowed in. They said I'd have to excuse them, as they were throwing a dinner party! You have to understand, I left Buffalo when I was 12, and don't remember all the ins and outs of living with tons of snow as a matter of course.

Well, the snow stopped near 10 am, so I finished all the shoveling I needed to, and it is already (lunch hour) beginning to melt. Better go back to work, and I will enjoy the last of my "winter goodby"--and hopefully sleep more soundly tonight!

P.S. The weather man was nearly right this time--we got almost 5 inches.

Happy Spring Part 1--Waiting for Snow

Well, it's about time for the weather report as I write this. I've heard ever since 5:30am that we are going to have a snow warning starting 11pm tonight. This is the kind of forecast that makes me antsy with anticipation. I like snow--that's good, considering my brother-in-law-boss is on vacation this week, which means I will be walking to work (about 3/4 mile). The kid in me loves to see lots of snow fall (maybe a hold-over from growing up in Buffalo, NY, land of lake effect snow--about 90 inches a year; here our usual is about 27 inches...). It's one time I really like the view out of my basement apartment windows. The fir trees look like they are frosted if it's the clingy-kind of snow. I like the idea of waking up in the morning to a white wonderland... . The weather man just said we should have about 4 inches by 7am, and end up with 6-10 inches.

I usually find myself getting up on a night like tonight in the middle of the night to peek out the window to see if the storm's started yet. The only problem is that makes me extra-tired the next day. Oh well, maybe it will be a snow-day. I learned from a friend at one of our other offices in the city that I don't need to come in if a snow-emergency is declared. Yes, I like my job, but wouldn't it be nice to "get out of school" for a day (and still get paid)?

Another reason I'm looking forward to this snow is that it won't last forever--it is supposed to be in the 40s by Wednesday, and almost 50 by Saturday. It is the beginning of spring after all. While I like more snow than Indiana usually gets (although the blizzard of 1977 was really good...our oldest son, Jonathan was only three months old, we were visiting friends because we really didn't believe the weather report, and our friends didn't either--and ended up snow-bound with them for three days...the local grocery ran out of everything but beans...), I like Indiana spring--it comes about a month earlier than Buffalo, NY spring.--There I always felt it would never come, and here it's taken me 35 years not to be surprised at how fast it shows up (okay, I can be a slow learner).

I have to go now...and anticipate. More later in part 2.

Hearing God's Voice--What's Stopping Me?

Everybody who is a Christian wants to hear God "speak," to be able to receive His guidance and direction. The only problem is that we don't always know how to hear Him. - Right? Well, not always. I'm going to come at this from an unusual, for me, angle. Usually I focus on what God sounds like, the different ways people can hear Him, etc. But today, I woke up thinking about the roadblocks to hearing God speak to my heart.

I need to ask myself if I really want to hear Him and obey. The book of James talks about hearing God through His Word, then going away and forgetting what He said, and what His Word says I'm really like without obedience. There is no point to it. Why should God direct my life if I refuse His direction?

This brings me to a deeper question: why would I refuse His direction, or if I wanted to be more polite, just go away and not do it? The answer I come up with is that I really want what I want more than I want what He wants. An example: have you ever thought to yourself, "Yes, I want to go to heaven, but first I want to live a full life here?" I've thought that. It is natural, healthy, and normal. God didn't create us as robots without preferences. Preferences make us individuals. Regarding the above thought, not to want to live a full life under many circumstances could be viewing heaven as a "Christian escape hatch," which is not good. The only time this (or any other thought of "but first I want") is wrong and a roadblock to hearing God is when I allow that to override something He's specifically asking of me.

Jesus had wants--some included not wishing to see Lazarus His friend die (even though He knew the end of the story) and not wanting to die on the cross. What was His response? To the first, He stayed away because He heard God speak--then after three days He went because God spoke again, and God raised Lazarus from the dead. That had to be difficult not to go to his friend Lazarus right away when he got sick. About not wanting to go to the cross and die, He asked God to do it any other way if possible, but, and here's the key, ended up sincerely giving His will to God and saying, "Not my will, but Yours be done." Equally important, He meant it. - He backed it up with obedient action.

The question today for me it seems, is not how to hear God's voice, but instead, am I willing to? How deep is my commitment to His will, plans, and purposes over my own? When confronted with a hard choice that goes against my desires and/or opinions, will I agree with Him or myself? How much do I really want to see "Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven?" What am I willing to give up to see that happen? Jesus in one of His stories tells us about a man who started to build something, but came up short and didn't have the means to finish it. He tells us to count the cost, that is, not to walk into anything lightly that involves commitment, or it will be impossible to finish successfully.

The good news as I consider all this is that the Bible not only doesn't expect me to but says I can't do all God asks on my own through the strength of self-will. That won't work, because my will falls short. Instead, Jesus' followers say things like Phil 2:13 NLT: "For God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey Him and the power to do what pleases Him." There is also a prayer in the Bible concerning this very thing: Heb 13:20 NLT - "And now, may the God of peace, who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, equip you with all you need for doing His will. May He produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, all that is pleasing to Him." - With God in my corner, I know I can come to the kind of commitment He desires, and as I do so, I don't believe I'll ever have to wonder again if I hear or how to hear His voice.

A New Start

Just looking at the sunshine out my window and listening to the kids waiting for the school bus reminds me of how I love mornings. The day is alive and well, and thankfully so am I. The mistakes of yesterday that I still have to deal with today and the knotty work problems (the insurance company that denied the claim, the unending paperwork...) don't seem quite as daunting after God's gift of a good night sleep. Once I am up, exercised and "tea-d," I'm ready to spend time with God and see what He has in store.

I guess what gives this "recovering pessimist" the most hope is God's character. Just look at the context surrounding the declaration in Lamentations (the little book right after Jeremiah) 3:22-23 NKJV, "Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. 23They are new every morning. Great is Your faithfulness." --What provokes so much faith during such difficulties?

If His people can say things like that even in the most awful circumstances, this is a God I want to know more. Want to hear another inspired-during-a-mess declaration of this mighty God's followers? Again, look at the context for Habakkuk (after Micah and Nahum in the Old Testament) 3:17-19. My paraphrase: "Though absolutely awful things happen, I will be happy in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength. He helps me endure and achieve more than I ever thought I could."

This is the kind of God I need to face every today no matter what it holds. --More good news: I have this kind of God. In Heb 13:8 the writer of Hebrews states that Jesus Christ, God-in-the-flesh is the same character-wise throughout all time. This means that He doesn't change His mind on a whim. What He valued yesterday, or when He inspired the Bible, is what He values today. The world will change, circumstances change, people change, but my God doesn't. He loves me as much as He loved Moses, Enoch, Elijah, Abraham, Sarah, Rahab, Paul, Noah, ... and He deals with me in similar fashion.

All of the above in one way or another had a new start. The Bible biographies tell me that people cannot encounter the living God and not have new opportunities. There are others who encountered Him who chose to remain who they were before, only more so--Ahab, Jezebel, Herod, Judas, ... . But today I'm focusing on the new start.

Lord, thank You so very much that Your mercies are new every morning--Monday through Sunday. Thank You that nothing is hidden from You (Ps 139), and that I have the privilege of getting to know You better every day. Not only is nothing hidden from You, but You don't hide Yourself from those who want You and seek You. Yet I can't even take credit for that--for I love You because You first loved and reached out to me. What a wonder-full God You are. I love you back with the love You gave me. Barb

The Gift of Words

I love blogs more and more. I have discovered I can discuss whatever I want in whatever order I want, but you all (whoever you are) can read things in a logical progression just by going back through my earlier titles and working your way up without sifting through all the seeming irrelevancies! It's the answer to everything--including men-women communication!! Well, maybe that's going a bit too far... :) ... .

My subject today, as the title suggests, is the gift of words. I woke up early thinking about how some of us have been blessed with this gift. The Bible (which is the word to the wise, and one that can make us wise) speaks in many places about the power of words, and it says that we will give account for our words because of the power they hold.

Words influence people for good or bad. Words clarify and give thoughts, concepts, pictures and frames of reference to others. Words can incite people to action--look at Hitler's words and the effect they had on a whole race of people. Look also at the effect of the words of Martin Luther and John and Charles Wesley. They reminded us of the words of the Word, Jesus more often than not. They brought back into our lives the concepts of grace and holiness which had been forgotten or gotten out of balance.

There are many ways we as Christians can use our words, but there is one overriding consideration. Are our words edifying--that is, do they build up and strengthen ourselves (yes, our words can harm ourselves as well as others) and others? Do they draw people closer to God, or do they drive people away from Him? Do they criticize or shame others, or offer the way to forgiveness and hope in Jesus? Do our words excuse or confront sin in both ourselves and others? Do they produce fear of man or love for God and others?

All of us who have been blessed with this gift have to learn how to use it. It is not an easy gift to master, because the Bible also says in Matt 12:34-35 NLT--"For whatever is in your heart determines what you say. 35 A good person produces good words from a good heart, and an evil person produces evil words from an evil heart." This means that to use this gift rightly, I must be changed by my experiences with Jesus, the Living (ultimate) Word, who alone can give me the right heart.

Having said all the above, those of us who have the gift of words need to learn how our particular "brand" of this gift operates. It can be different in different people. It's a funny thing--as I've gotten older and have learned how to use my gift of words more, I have found the gift of words can do some things I never would have thought. My particular version of this gift allows me to give words to what others are feeling and experiencing so they can take those things to God for healing. My gift of words has been able to confirm that others are (or aren't) seeing things accurately. Words have even been able to be used by people who say they have no words. They borrow mine when mine accurately mirror the echoes in their heart, and eventually they begin to have their own words.

At times, my gift of words expresses itself in poetry. Sometimes I'm impressed to write letters. Over the years I have been impressed to learn to use the Internet and start a web page and pray the people God wants to see it connect with it--my words can give others words even when I wrote them long ago if they are echoes of human hearts and God's heart. Sometimes my gift of words expresses itself in counseling, and when the time is right in teaching. I don't believe I have discovered all the uses for my gift yet, but I believe I'm growing at a good pace, and that's all God asks of me--to be faithful today with what He's given me.

It is not boasting or pride to find out what our gifts can do. It could be considered "burying our talents" not to learn how ours work. In fact, with a right heart it is very important to learn our gifts and use them to bring others closer to God. - You "word" people out there, what does God want you to do with your gift?

I Also Love Mornings

I love the fresh feeling of a new day. Once I get out of bed, stretch, do my exercise hour or so, I get to look at the day. It is a new beginning. To me, every day is a new beginning in God. It is when my body is most alert, when many things seem possible. I love the time before the day gets filled with phone calls and demands on my time. In winter, I enjoy sitting with a (hopefully--when I'm feeling I want to be healthy) bowl of oatmeal and thinking/talking to God (and listening) about my day to come. When it's warmer out, sometimes I like a 7 am walk around my apartment complex and neighboring church. I get to look at nature, and pray for those who live on my "beat." Sometimes, like today, I get to write.

Lord, please help me continue to develop the habit of gratefulness--and noticing the simple things You've put here for me to enjoy. Bring reminders when I'm too lazy to get up early enough to enjoy--or too tired because of my unwise (often too much TV) choices the night before. Grant me the grace to be wise about what activities I take on and don't take on. Remind me that "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven," (Ecclesiastes), and let me remember that not only don't I have to, but it isn't always appropriate to do all the things I want. There are seasons, and I need to continue to learn to appreciate the season I'm in. When life is over here, I want to be able to hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant," and I know if I don't remember what's important in each season, I can't hear that.

Thank You for today--for the birds outside my window, for the promise of hope after a dark, stormy night. I pray for those who were hurt by the spring storms that swept across the land yesterday. Please help them and lead them to what they need. Give them grace and encouragement--and may they find You in a more real, vibrant, living way as they deal with things. Isn't that the point of everything anyway? Love you, Lord. Barb

Compassion, or Feelings Part 2

I have to follow up on something which looks right now like it will be the subject of several posts. Being a student of human nature, I have a natural bent toward psychology and sociology. Also, as a Christian for more than thirty years, I have found I have another interest that not all Christians have (it just seems to be part of my "gift-mix"). I am interested in theology and how all three "ologys" fit together in a very practical way. In fact, I would say one of my life-goals is to become as much as possible an "integrated" Christian. For more on what being an "integrated Christian" means to me, please take this link to a poem on my web page. (I did a study--I explain there--and out came a poem! :) )

Anyway, I have been thinking a lot on feelings (see my very first blog post with that title) and how they tie into compassion and how compassion ties into mercy. According to the online version of the American Heritage Dictionary, compassion is defined as deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it. It says a synonym for compassion is pity.

The Bible says something about compassion in the life of Jesus:
Heb 4:15-16 NIV--15 For we do not have a High Priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have One who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-yet was without sin. 16 Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Right here I see a very real link between dealing rightly with my own feelings, having compassion and then showing mercy. According to the verses, a natural outgrowth of compassion is an ability to share grace and mercy with others. But if I have stuffed my feelings and it has made me either physically sick or bitter, I cannot have compassion. If I do not care for myself enough to respect and deeply acknowledge my own feelings and then deal with them rightly, how can I or why would I have compassion for others? I don't have the energy or inclination.

Instead, I will think others are either getting what's coming to them because of their actions and/or choices or getting what's coming to them as a result of living in this fallen world, sometimes expressed as "That's life." While either idea may be somewhat true at times, those attitudes almost automatically deny compassion and its expression which is mercy, because to have compassion, I have to first be deeply aware as the dictionary says, of the suffering of another, and secondly I have to care about that suffering deeply enough to move me to action.

That attitude (of people getting what's coming to them for any reason) also is wrong from another angle. It is judging others. Jesus tells us two things about judging (these are His direct words):

Matt 7:1-3 NIV--1 "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"

John 7:24 NIV--"Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment."

Is Jesus saying two contradictory things here? I don't think so. I believe He's saying to judge rightly, I must fully acknowledge my own condition of sin--which includes two things--one, that I was born a fallen creature and two, that I can easily fall into sin. (Other scriptures shedding light on this include: 1 John 1:8,10 NLT--8 If we say we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and refusing to accept the truth. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts. Rom 3:23 NLT--For all have sinned; all fall short of God's glorious standard.)

Only when I see myself rightly and agree with God's view, can I get to a place of humility, which says my sin is every bit as sinful in God's eyes as yours, and also that at any time I could fall into sin (sin being when I am falling short of God's glorious standard), whether in thought, word, or deed. One of the things that gives unrighteous judgment its power is the ability I have as a fallen human to think you are worse than I am--and that what's easy for me should be easy for you. That puts me above you (though falsely), and causes compassion and its resulting acts of mercy to elude me.

One of the ways to get to humility and compassion is to meditate on the Law of God and its relation to me, asking God to make it real to my heart. James 2:10,12-13 NIV says regarding that subject, 10 For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. 12 Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, 13 because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

I want mercy to triumph over judgment in my life, and in everyone's life. That is God's heart. I admit I don't feel it when I'm hurting or angry, but I still want the work to be done inside of me that will get me back to that position. I will further add, if mercy doesn't triumph over judgment in thought, word, and deed, how is Christianity any different than any other religion?

I Love Weekends

This being Saturday morning, it seems a good time to count one of my blessings--weekends where I have no set schedule for at least part of the time. Yes, there are things I could be doing to fill it up, like the ever-present organizing I seem to always be faced with. (By the way, anyone who believes things evolve only has to look at home organization and maintenance to know that isn't true! Anything left to itself devolves--at least in my experience. Maybe that is a thought for another day. Now back to the subject at hand.) Yes, I do have people to talk to, and other things to follow up on, but not now. Not in my free time.

So what do I do with my free time? The answer is, anything I want that builds my relationship with God, nourishes my soul and/or develops me. Spending time with God, whether it is just being quiet in His presence enjoying His company, or praying, or worshipping, or reading what He has had written, or prayer-journaling is a good thing for starters. Then I like to explore good poetry that nourishes me, or Thomas Kincaide books, or even big travel coffeetable books (I like one I was given about Chicago from the Air). Sometimes I write poetry--or articles or Bible studies.

Sometimes I like to study some subject I've been meaning to get to--anything from how to get a different color background on my blog (Micah said to start with a Google search) or learning how to use Microsoft Excel to reading business biographies and exploring Christian (and otherwise) novels with unusual themes. All these things help me broaden my experience or see life from different viewpoints and prayerfully (I always like to consider my new learnings from God's perspective) stretch myself.

Other times I like to take a walk (with or without my CD walkman from Micah) or watch movies (I got quite a few from the Half Price Bookstore in their clearance section for $1-$2 apiece) that expand my world or are just plain fun. Sometimes I like to spend my free time browsing through home decorating books (an interest I've developed in the last four years) and follow that up by going with Micah to decorator showhouses and Red Lobster restaurant and Goodwill (where I look for my kind of articles for decorating with). We've done that two or three times in the last couple years, and it has been so much fun.

Whatever I do, I try to guard my free time. I have found that wise use of it enables me to be a better worker during the week. If I enrich myself and encourage myself in God, I find I have a lot more to give to others when I serve through my work or other involvements. (Through experience I have also found that mindless watching of TV depletes me rather than energizes and renews me, and I find my next week can be harder if I make poor choices during my free time.)

Lord, thank You for free time. Thank You that I can sometimes wake up late on Saturday morning, leisurely stretch and know that I have nothing particular on the agenda. Thank You that I have a relationship with You that grows as I make it a priority. Thank You that You want me to know You and enjoy Your world.

Thank You that I have the books (and library) available with which to explore new ideas, and a computer from which I can learn all sorts of good things. Thank You for feet, eyes, ears, and a heart to explore Your world. Thank You for my brain under-Your-influence to process things with. Thank You for hands and the ability to create and express what I'm learning. Thank You for friends and family whom You've placed in my life who care to hear how I'm growing and pray for and encourage me when I'm not.

Thank You for all the things You have put in this world that make life fun. Please continue to teach me not to abuse even good things, to stay (or get) in balance, and how to live my life knowing it comes from You, and I choose to live it in You, and it goes back to You. I love You. Barb

Blogs--What and Why

I hate trendy things, until I get used to them or understand them. And if truth be told, I don't go out of my way to understand them--unless people I know and love get involved with them or I have some other personal reason that jumpstarts my curiosity. So when a couple of my guys got interested in blogs, the process began.

"Blogs" went from an extremely annoying word I read on a page somewhere more and more often, to a word I needed to understand. I actually thought it was a very stupid word--till I found out more about it. I even went so far as to ask (once I found out what it meant) a good 23 year old friend and her boyfriend if they knew what the word meant--not just what it is, but what the word itself meant. They didn't, but they had heard of the concept and told me a sad but not-so-bizarre-today story they'd heard about a married couple who was so busy that the only way they ever communicated was by reading each other's blog. (That, my friends, is to me an over-use of blogs, and a misuse of life--but that's perhaps another story.)

I don't want to be remiss here. Just in case you've stumbled on this blog, have your own blog, or your kids, parents (it could happen!) or friends have a blog, what the word itself means is "web log." It is shorthand for a log or journal written on the world wide web instead of paper.When I first heard about blogs before looking at them (the very first one I laid eyes on was my son's), I thought that was a stupid idea. We already have web sites--why do we need another medium of expression? But once I understood that you could simply write your thoughts on anything day by day and the last would appear first, that held appeal for me. Then I started reading my son's and those of his friends, and I got it.

A blog can be whatever I want it to be. It can be a place to post opinions which may start give-and-take discussion, talk about hobbies, journal through challenges and get feedback, or just express how great (or bad) a day I had. I'm looking forward to having fun, sharpening my communication skills, and learning and growing. The only things I can think of right now that I don't want to do with a blog are use it as a way of avoiding "real-time" relationships, disrespect others even by implication, or express opinions I'd be too timid to express in person. I want to be the same person online that I am offline. Here's to another experience with computers that adds to my already interesting life!

Feelings, Feelings, Feelings!!! (Part 1 of ?)

I set up this blog in January, expecting to begin posting right away. Then absolutely nothing came to mind to write about. I kept checking in periodically for some inspiration. Zilch, nada, zip...still nothing. All of a sudden, walking home from work on Thursday (a nice, sunny, breezy 50-degree February day--yes, February--in Indiana, but that's not today's subject), it hit me. Due to some posts on some other blogs, I got to thinking about feelings, and the people (hopefully all of us) who have them.

Some people generally have an optimistic outlook (sunny personalities, sanguine, extrovert--whatever you want to call them), and others seem their polar-opposites--these lean toward a negative outlook (melancholy personalities, sensitive, feeling, intuitive, etc--you get the picture). Sometimes the "eternally sunnies" don't get the "intuitive melancholies." They think they spend entirely too much time on how they feel if it isn't "good." However, the "intuitive melancholies" sometimes think the "eternally sunnies" are unrealistic and pollyanna-ish. Both sides have the potential of being intolerant, and the "melancholies" can quite easily get hurt or offended by the seeming disdain or scorn of the "sunnies." (I know, because I confess, I'm a "melancholy"--though a "recovering one.") The "sunnies," on the other hand, seem to have little patience (or use) for the "melancholies."

The problem with the above attitudes is, if we all retire to our own corners licking our wounds no one will learn anything. So what's the deal? From where I stand, I think both sides can learn a lot from one another. Being a Christian, I believe God made all the personality types, and His purpose is to allow us all to bump against each other (you know, like those bumper cars in the amusement park) so we can rub off our rough edges (the emphasis here is we can rub off our rough edges--not everybody else's, though that may happen, too!). Polar opposites can become balanced as they hang in with the process.

If we would begin to understand the purpose for feelings, we would be on our way to a mutual appreciation of our personality opposite as well as ourselves. Just as we have physical pain sensors to tell us of problems we need to address, so we have "emotional sensors." This early warning system tells us when all is not well in the emotional realm. If we ignore it, we can't deal with our problems and things get worse, but if we spend too much time thinking about our feelings, they eat us up.

The problem is that we are not perfect people living in a perfect world, and because there is this thing called "sin" (a subject for another time), our "emotional sensors" or feelings aren't 100% accurate. Even if we supposed they were, we don't necessarily deal with them in a perfect manner. Research says if we stuff them, we can get physically ill, while even the newspapers tell us if we express them or hold on to them they can poison us or get us into other trouble.

So what do we do with feelings? As a Christian, I have learned to deal with them by acknowledging them and taking them to the One Who created me and my feelings in the first place. (In all honesty, I never did well when I was trying to deal with them before I got to know the Lord...I had a "nervous breakdown," used drugs, abused alcohol and tried to commit suicide three times.) In the past 30 years, however, I have had lots of things happen that have given me lots of feelings, and I have found if I don't hold on to my "right" to keep them and let them destroy me piece by piece, God has a good exchange program going. He says he will give me beauty for ashes--that means I can learn something in the process and come out without a load of bitterness besides. I like that deal.

I've learned that once I give my feelings to God, I can learn from "sunnies" to enjoy life in the meantime. If I am in the "beauty for ashes exchange process," I don't have to sit around depressed till I "feel" better. The feelings did what they were supposed to do, and now I can go on, trusting I will feel better later. I think "sunnies" can learn from "melancholies" also. They can experience more growth if they fully pay attention to their feelings and enroll in the "exchange program" before they go back to being "sunny."

If both sides will decide to learn from the other, I believe "sunnies" will become people of more depth, able to comfort and encourage others with more compassion and understanding (without encouraging self-pity). "Melancholies," on the other hand will learn how to keep feelings from consuming them and causing an unhealthy self-preoccupation that keeps them from reaching out to others. Their sensitivity can be harnessed and used if they hang around maturing "sunnies," and all will grow. Uh oh, did I just sound like a "sunny?" Hmmmm...