Barb's Space

Observations about life, family, church...anything else that is on my mind from the perspective that God rules, no matter what

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Location: Indianapolis, IN, United States

I am a 66 year young woman who has changed much in the last few years. I'm single again. I changed jobs twice (learned new skills), had a serious stroke in 2008, "retired" and after getting better started taking up new interests, and am continuing to get more fit. Some things have matured. I've enjoyed watching my three guys grow into men I respect and am proud of. One waited 11 years to have his first birth child. Today I'm a grandma of six (four boys and 2 girls between two families) with a third girl on the way. I have learned to love Jesus even more, and I have regained my sense of adventure. Someone said, "The best is yet to be."--I believe it, if I keep an open mind and heart and keep growing and walking with God.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Reviewing the Past

Today I want to talk about the past. One way I'll get to the future is by looking at where I've been. I have been rereading my blog articles lately, and know that where I am today is partly seen in what I've been writing about. I am being tested as to whether I believe what I feel God inspired me to write.

I found myself saying a loud resounding "yes" to these articles again. After all, they are as much for me as for anyone else. I do believe the right kind of wasted worship is the only way for me to go. I do believe what I said in the articles on God saying, "I Will Build My Church." I believe the things I wrote in "Hearing God's Voice--What's Stopping Me?" and all the other articles. Even the articles that I don't believe were specifically inspired I believe.

That is integrity. If I didn't still believe these things, I would need to remove them. Now though, I need to see how they apply after the stroke. I have also written some other things on a web page, things I need to go over. I wrote about an auto accident in 1983 and how it affected my life. I needed to go back there because it speaks of what I can learn during severe physical trials. You can find it at if you want to read it. Just copy the address and paste it in the window and go. That and some poems are found in the section called "Suffering's Challenge." It also helped me to go to the poems and read "Wonderings" and "Learning to Yield."

The other night in the middle of the night, God was there when I woke up. I've been thinking a lot about my future in the last couple weeks especially. I feel like He just showed me an attitude that needs to change. He showed me how I thought about something that I have always gotten around through ignoring it. Now I'm hearing Him say I have to get to the bottom of it. It's time to confess and forsake it. I'm hearing that as I do, my future can be better than my past.

As I look ahead, I am also being told to look at my giftings and ask how they can be used to best advantage. You see, another thing I believe is that work-wise we should do what we were made for. I have not been doing that. I have been working where I have because that's what God gave me to do for those seasons, but I feel now is the time to really examine this area since I can't do much right now. I am asking where God wants to take me and how He wants to get me there.

All of this is one way of saying what a serious crisis can do for and in your life. I know I am going to learn a lot more in the days to come as I keep asking, seeking and knocking. Feel free to come along.

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